The following exercises can help you to understand the main differences in style. They refer to written language but I think it also applies to speaking.
Read these four possible versions of a text manual for computer programmers. They describe EDIT MENU, a programme that creates and maintains file menus.
Put the versions in order from the easiest to understand to the most difficult to understand. Think about which version is closest to your style of writing.
A The operation of EDIT MENU takes place on a dedicated work file. Therefore during the maintenance of a Menu file, no changes to the original file are effected until such time as the session comes to an end or the operator accesses another Menu file. The implication of this is the original file will remain without alteration if, for some unforeseen reason, the operating session does not come to a normal termination.
B EDIT MENU works on a work file of its own. So, when you are maintaining a menu file, your original is not changed until either you finish your session or you access another Menu file. In this way, you keep your original file safe, even if your session does not terminate normally for any reason.
C EDIT MENU works on its own work file. Accordingly, when you are maintaining a Menu file, none of your changes is made until either you finish your session or you access another Menu file. So the original files remain safe if, for some reason, your session does not end normally.
D EDIT MENU operation is on a dedicated work file. Thus, during Menu file maintenance, no change in the original is performed until session termination alternative Menu file access. Original file safety in the event of abnormal session termination is thereby ensured.
The four versions of the text were part of a survey done in the UK. Groups of technical and non technical people were asked to judge the best way to write scientific and technical documents. The results were almost identical for both groups, version B was considered best by around 40% of those surveyed, version C 20%, version D 5%, version A 3% ( in the original survey there were 6 versions ).
1.
Why do you think version B was considered the best? Think in terms of
- Passive vs active structures - technical vs non-technical vocabulary
- Impersonal vs personal structures - short vs long sentences / words
2.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of using you rather than an impersonal structure, such as the user or the operator?
3.
Version B contains more verb-centered phrases than noun centred phrases ( eg when you are maintaining a menu file rather than during Menu file maintenance )What are the advantages of this?
The other versions use words or phrases such as therefore, hence, consequently, accordingly, thereby, the implication of this is – what alternative words does version B use?
Should it make any difference to the style of a manual if the user of the manual is an expert or non-expert?
Look at these guidelines for writing clearly and effectively.
1.
Put yourself in the reader’s shoes
What does he / she already know about the subject? Then decide exactly what message you are trying to get across and why. Is it to inform, sell, persuade or explain?
2. Use short sentences
The shorter the sentence, the stronger the message and the less room for ambiguity and confusion. This is why most advertisers use short sentences even when they are aiming at a highly educated market. The New York Times has a reputation for good writing, yet it is written so that it can be read easily by a seventeen year old.
3. Use active verb forms
One way to shorten sentences is to use active verb forms rather than passive forms. Another good idea is to use personal pronouns wherever it is appropriate.
4. Introduce one main idea per sentence
This avoids the possibility of confusion and ambiguity, particularly when the subject matter is complex.
5. Remove all unnecessary words or phrases.
This will not only help to shorten sentences but also makes the language more forceful and direct.
Do you agree with the deadlines? Can you think of any other ideas to add to the list?
Look at these extracts and decide what kind of document each one comes from e.g. a report, a formal letter, a technical manual etc. Rewrite each extract, implementing the guidelines above.
It is hoped that all reports will have been returned to us by the end of this financial year or at least by the start of the next financial year at the very latest.
In an attempt to make things more professional in relation to the overall efficiency of the department, staff are requested to answer enquiries, reply to letters from customers, and deal with all correspondence within a total of 5 days of receipt of such items.
If your payment was in the form of a check, it will be necessary for me to seek confirmation from the bank that the check has been cleared before we can investigate this matter further.
If EDIT MENU updating is being performed on a file that is also the file currently under utilization by STARTSYSTEM, no change is effected in STARTSYSTEM until termination and subsequent restart of STARTSYSTEM.
Send me your versions through the comments section or to my email address - myskypeenglishteacher@yahoo.co.uk
